Basically I believe that the Bible means just what it says. I understand that some of it is written in poetry and uses metaphors and similes and other figures of speech. And I understand that certain portions such as Ezekiel, Daniel and Revelation are symbolic and not to be taken literally. But for the most part the Bible means just what it says.

So when the Bible speaks of blessings and curses, I believe there are blessings and curses; and I try to see how I can get blessings and avoid curses.

 And when the Bible says that Christians are not fighting flesh and blood, but multitudes of evil spirits, and that Christians can cast out demons in Christ's name, I study how to deal effectively with the real enemy. 

And when the Bible says that children are to obey their parents and honor them so that it may go well with them and their days may be long on the earth, then I try to teach young people that things will not go well with them unless they obey and honor their parents; and I wonder out loud just how many people get into trouble or die young because they disobey and dishonor their parents.  To me the Bible is meant to be practical, not merely theological. It is, in one sense, a practical manual for life.

So when God tells us over and over that we must forgive every one who has harmed us, and that if we do not forgive them, He will not forgive us of the things we have done wrong, I take that to be a simple, sober fact.

It is a fact so important that Jesus included it in the model prayer He gave us.

Mt. 6:9-15: "This, then, is how you should pray: 'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.’" 

One point in the prayer is so important that He adds this further emphasis: 

"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."

This is a startling statement. It says that we MUST forgive everyone who has ever wronged us if we are going to have our sins forgiven. He does not say that we should forgive only those who repent and  who ask our forgiveness. And of course He does not say that we are to forgive someone of the wrong he does to others. Only the offended person can forgive the offender his offenses. But He says quite clearly, more than once, that unless we forgive everyone who has wronged us, He will not forgive us.

In a way this should not surprise us. Many times Jesus and the apostles taught that we cannot be right with God unless we are also right with man. And He has told us to love our enemies and to bless those who curse us, and to do good to those who persecute us. We see throughout the New Testament that we Christians are expected to go beyond what is natural in regard to those who wrong us and harm us.

All the promises of God are conditional. They are not for everyone, but for those who qualify, for those who meet the conditions. For instance, Jesus says that if we remain in Him and His words remain in us, we can ask what we will and it shall be done for us. That is a promise, and the condition of receiving the promise is that we "remain in Him."  Also, I John 1:7 says "if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with each other and the blood of Jesus purifies us from all sin." The condition to be met is walking in the light. Those who do not walk in the light do not qualify for the promise. Again, "if we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." The promise is that He will forgive us and cleanse us; the condition is that we confess our sins. And so on throughout the Bible. God's love is unconditional; his promises are not. Many, many Christians, I suspect, are going about claiming God's promises, but they have not met the conditions upon which the promises depend. You can see that in these scriptures I've just quoted, the word "if" states the condition, and without fulfilling the "if," there is no promise.

And so it is with forgiveness: "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you." And "if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."

In general I think we can determine how important something is to God by the number of times He repeats it in His Word. By that standard this principle is VERY important to God, for He repeats it several times. So, in no uncertain terms, God says that if we want to have our sins forgiven, we must forgive everyone who has wronged us. Let that sink in. He does not say that we must forgive only those who apologize to us, only those who repent; we must forgive all those who have wronged us.

This principle is very significant when we consider the Lord's Supper. You cannot take the Lord's Supper "in a worthy manner" if you are not right with your fellow man, and especially your fellow Christian. 

It is not safe to partake of the Body and Blood of Christ when you "have anything against anyone." I wonder how many people are sick, or under demonic attack, or suffering various ills because they take the Lord's Supper while allowing unforgiveness in their hearts. My reading of I Corinthians 11 suggests that it may be so. Is it possible that some Christians are sick because they routinely take the Lord's Supper while they foster anger, resentment and hatred in their hearts?  God makes it clear that He does not accept our worship or our prayer unless we forgive others.

Mark. 11:25-26:  "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.

Can you see how God does not accept our service unless we obey Him in this matter? "When you stand praying," do not continue that prayer until you have first forgiven everything that you hold against anyone. 

FORGIVE AS YOU HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN

The reason given in Scripture for this attitude of God is that since He has forgiven us so much, we ought to forgive others.

Ephesians. 4:32: "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Since God, for Christ's sake forgave you, you forgive also.

Colossians. 3:13: "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."

Most especially must we forgive other Christians; but we have seen that God does not limit our responsibility to Christians; we must forgive all who have wronged us.

As some of you know, Jeanette and I have done a lot of counseling in our home over the past 30 years, though not much in recent years. We called it Deliverance Counseling or Praying Deliverance because those who came to us were in bondage in one way or another and we helped them find deliverance from their bondage. Some of them had been into drugs and (along with the drugs) all kinds of gross sins and (in some cases) even crimes. Consequently, though they were no longer addicts, they had many wounds, many issues (as we now say), and they felt that they were being afflicted, tormented by demons. Quite a few were deeply-damaged women who had been raped, or sexually molested or otherwise sexually violated, often by a family member. They were almost always in much turmoil and inner conflict. One woman had blocked out of her memory a large part of her early life. Still others were experiencing tormenting voices or weird phenomena because they had been involved in the occult in some way.

IN EVERY CASE THE VERY FIRST THING WE DID WAS TO HAVE THEM FORGIVE EVERYONE THEY HAD ANYTHING AGAINST.  We had them make a list, an extensive list. This was not always an easy task, but we would not proceed without it. For we knew from Scripture and from experience that unforgiveness keeps one in bondage and gives Satan a foothold in one's soul and life. It is my firm conviction that the every journey towards freedom and wholeness must begin by forgiving all those who have hurt us or mistreated us.

I remember one case of a girl whose father had left them and whose mother had had several boyfriends during her preteen and teen years. She was bitter against her father and mother, but she was able to forgive them. But one of her mother's boyfriends, or it may have been a stepfather, had sexually assaulted her more than once and she JUST COULD NOT FORGIVE HIM. "Why should I forgive him?" she said, "he doesn't deserve to be forgiven." She was right, of course, but that wasn't the point. She felt that he owed her a debt that he could never pay back, and she would not forgive him. I told her that she had to forgive him, not for his sake, but for her own. I said that her unforgiveness bound her to him, kept him connected to her, and that God could not fully bless her unless she forgave. She said, "Do you mean that until I forgive that man, I will never be free of him, but will carry him around with me!?"  I said, "Yes, that's what I mean."  Then she exclaimed, "Then show me how to forgive. I want to be free from him. I want to be free of that man forever!" And so we showed her how to forgive him. In those days we practiced what we came to call "the discipline of forgiveness." It is a life-long discipline and pays off in abundant and eternal results.

I think of another case in point. About 25 years ago I was the principal of Lithia Christian Academy, in Lithia Springs, Georgia. One of our parents was an attractive young mother, maybe around thirty, with three children in our school. She asked if she could work in the school as partial payment of tuition, and I was glad to have her do so. At first things went well, but then she began to act oddly. She began to flirt with the older boys and act very much like a boy-crazy teenage girl. I spoke to her indirectly about it and it did no good. Finally I made an appointment to see her in my office the first thing the next day. That night, before the meeting, I prayed about it. I was ready to give her an ultimatum--either stop this indiscreet behavior or not work at the school. But as I prayed I felt a sense of caution, and into my mind came these words: "Be very gentle with her; she has been greatly wronged by her father, and she is very wounded."  Well, I wasn't sure that was the Lord, but I knew I had better not dismiss it. The next morning in my office she was all set to be defensive. "I know what you're going to say," she began. I said boldly, "No, you don't. The Lord told me to be very gentle with you because your father has greatly wronged you and you are deeply wounded." Her mouth and eyes gaped open and she said, "How do you know that?"  I thought, uh, oh, I've missed the Lord for sure! But I went on bravely, "The Lord told me."  She then proceeded to tell me how her father had sexually molested her throughout her teen years until the time she left home. In her words, "He stole my teen years from me." That helped to explain her behavior. She was trying to recapture her lost teen years by flirting and hanging out with adolescent boys. I said, "You know you are going to have to forgive him, don't you?"  She said, "How can I forgive him for what he did to me?"  I said, "You have to forgive him if you want God to forgive you." She said, "Do you think that's why I never feel forgiven?" I said, "That would surely be part of it."  She did finally get her life straightened out, I think, though I continued to have some trouble with her and she left her husband for a time. But I think the worst thing she did was to commit some indiscretions; I don't think she committed adultery. In any case, God kept me from being heavy-handed and taught me something in the process. 

The truths we learned and practiced in counseling are explicitly illustrated in Matthew chapter 18, beginning with verse 21:

Mt. 18:21-35: "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. [Or seventy times seven]. Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents [That is, millions of dollars] was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. The servant fell on his knees before him. `Be patient with me,’ he begged, `and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, cancelled the debt and let him go.  But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow-servants who owed him a hundred denarii. [That is, a few dollars] He grabbed him and began to choke him. `Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.  His fellow-servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’ But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.  Then the master called the servant in. `You wicked servant,’ he said, `I cancelled all that debt of yours  because you begged me to.  Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow-servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be
tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

There is so much in the parable.

1) First of all we see the principle repeated, that I have been trying to get across. Because the king in the parable had forgiven the servant so much, he should have forgiven his fellow servant his little. When he did not forgive his fellow servant, then the king held him accountable for his debt.

2) Secondly, the unforgiving servant was then thrown into prison and delivered over to the torturers. You can put whatever construction you like on this passage, but I am convinced that the torturers represent demons. And when we will not forgive, our souls become vulnerable to demonic influence. You must understand that Satan himself is not omnipresent; he is not everywhere. He is a created being, a fallen angel. It is through his vast army of demons that his influence extends everywhere. And I don't mean demon possession, but demonic influence. I'm convinced that many, many Christians are tormented, bound up, unvictorious, trapped in some besetting sin, defeated in one way or another because they allow resentment, anger, hatred and unforgiveness to remain in their hearts.

Do not hear me say what I'm not saying. I'm not talking about demon possession. That's a different matter. But every sin that we allow to continue in our lives gives the Devil some advantage in our lives. And the sin of unforgiveness opens us up to evil influences perhaps as none other does. That's why Jesus warns against it so much. Unforgiveness keeps us guilty and unforgiven before God, and therefore unable to receive His full blessing. It delivers us over to the torturers [the KJV calls them "Tormenters."]

I dare say that everyone in this audience today has someone he or she needs to forgive. I'll tell you how you can tell if you need to forgive. Most people, believe it or not, need to forgive their parents even after they are grown and even if the parent has died. Nearly every married person needs to forgive his or her spouse, often over and over. Students must forgive teachers. We all must forgive bullies. Yes, even bullies. Some of us have had to forgive people who were already dead. Some may need to forgive a whole class or race of people. Whenever resentment or bitterness of any kind is allowed to remain, we shut off God's blessing and open ourselves up to the enemy. Believe what I am telling you.

Why do you need to forgive?  For your own sake. So that God can forgive you and bless you as He wants to do. Believe me, it is unspeakably wonderful to finally get free and get victory over bitterness, anger, resentment. It is like having a great burden removed and opening up a channel of joy.

HOW WE CAN TELL IF WE NEED TO FORGIVE

Here is how you can tell if you still need to forgive someone.

1. When you think of the wrong that person did you, or remember and incident,does your stomach knot up unpleasantly?

2. Do you think of that person as "that man" or "that woman" not even wanting to say his or her name?

3. When you hear of something bad or embarassing happening to that person, are you secretly glad?

4. Do you find yourself getting angry all over again when you think of what he or she did?

5. Are you conscious of a smoldering resentment against a person or an event when you remember it?

If you can answer yes to any of these questions, then you most certainly need to forgive. 

THE DISCIPLINE OF FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness is not a feeling or an emotion; it is a choice. We choose to forgive. We cancel the debt the other person owes us. We tear up the I.O.U.  In our counseling sessions Jeanette and I have had our successes and our failures and disappointments. But we always felt that if we taught the counselee the discipline of forgiveness, and if he really got it, we had done some real good. And it is not a one-time business. Some wrongs are very hard to forgive, and only by God's grace can we forgive them. Often, the provocation is still present. But to be able to say in truth that you have forgiven all those who have wronged you is a wonderful, wonderful blessing. And it frees God's hands to pour out blessings on you. I say again, The road to wholeness and liberty of soul begins with forgiveness.

I'm going to end my lesson in this way.  I want you all to participate in this if you want to. I want you to think of the one person you most obviously need to forgive, using the questions I mentioned if you need to. I imagine by now you already know who that is. It may be a boss, a neighbor, a brother or sister, a parent, an authority figure, an offending race, a political party. 

I'm going to pray a prayer of forgiveness. If you wish, you pray silently inserting that individual's name in the blank. This is a model prayer that will help you to begin a lifelong discipline of forgiveness.

Dear Heavenly Father, you know that _____ has wronged and hurt me, and I am angry and resentful. I know from your Word that it is wrong for me to feel hate and anger, but I do. I do not want to feel hatred and resentment; I want to forgive ______ for Jesus' sake. Help me to forgive_______.  I choose to forgive______; help me to forgive. I tear up the I.O.U.  _______ owes me nothing. I freely forgive from the heart. Father, bless_____ through me; love him/her through me, and set me free from the sin of unforgiveness. In Jesus' name, Amen.

If anyone would like to learn more about the discipline of forgiveness or to confess before this church and ask for prayer, or to testify of some victory achieved, please come forward while we stand and sing.